Poezija

Ilda Dedić – Treba li on tebi

Treba li on tebi? Treba li ti da plešeš oko vatre? Stojiš na ivici? Čezneš. Strepiš. Čekaš. Moliš. Treba li tebi to? Zar ne poželiš da te neko čvrsto drži za ruku? Zar ne poželiš rame na koje se možeš osloniti? Zašto rizikuješ? Zašto stalno rizikuješ? Zašto te taj ples oko vatre toliko uzbuđuje? Čini živom? Zašto kad si se toliko puta opekla? I rekla nikad više. A opet se vraćaš. Uporno se vraćaš. Zar ti nije dosta? Vidiš da si sve umornija. Sve manje snage imaš. Sve češće zapinješ. Padaš. Sve si ranjivija. Sve slabija. Ali ne odustaješ. Ne možeš odustati. Ne znaš.

Treba li tebi to? Zar ne zaslužuješ više. Zar ne zaslušuješ sve? A uzimaš mrvice. Stojiš ispruženih ruku. Čekaš više. Nadaš se da ćeš dobiti više. Koga lažeš? I ti i ja znamo da više dobiti nećeš. Nikad više dobiti nećeš. Jer on više ne zna dati. Ne može. A nisi ti za mrvica, mala moja. Nisi, vjeruj mi. Ušuškala si se u nekakav prosjek. Zaboravila koliko vrijediš. Zaboravila da si posebna. Jedinstvena. Jesi, doista si posebna, mala moja. Zato traži sve. Uzmi sve. Ne pristaj na malo. Ne uzimaj mrvice.

Čezneš. Strepiš. Čekaš. Moliš.
Ne treba tebi to.

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